Connection in Unexpected Places: Finding Belonging in Life’s “In-Between” Moments
The Pause Between Things
We often think of connection as something that happens in designed moments — the team lunch, the all-hands meeting, the coffee chat with a new hire.
But what about the un-designed moments?
Waiting in line for your morning coffee or at a food truck outside your office.
Standing in the elevator with someone you barely know.
Sharing a taxi after a long day of meetings.
In this short video, I talk about the power of small talk and how it can create unexpected long-term connections.
It’s the pause — the breath between meetings, the friction of waiting — that can unexpectedly bring people together. When we pay attention to those small spaces, we unlock opportunities for belonging we didn’t even realize were there.
The Science of Shared Friction
Research from INSEAD highlights exactly this phenomenon. In a 2024 study, researchers found that employees who shared a taxi ride during an off-site retreat later had stronger ongoing communication than those who didn’t.
What made the difference wasn’t the event itself — it was the forced proximity, the shared inconvenience, the little bit of friction.
People who might never have interacted were nudged into conversation simply because they were in the same space with no escape — waiting, riding, or just being.
That’s what we call micro-colocation: being together in small, unplanned ways. It’s messy, human, and surprisingly powerful.
Turning Friction into Connection
Here are a few ways to bring that insight into your workplace:
1. Make Waiting Welcoming
Don’t rush to eliminate every line or loading screen. Instead, design for connection in those moments:
Add “queue prompts” — small signs with questions like “What’s one thing you’re working on this week?”
Rotate conversation starters on a digital screen or whiteboard.
Have leaders occasionally stand in line too — it signals that connection can start anywhere.
2. Share the Ride
If you’re organizing a retreat or event, pair people for shared transport.
Encourage conversation prompts or reflection cards.
The study showed that a 20-minute shared taxi can forge bonds that last months — especially across departments or demographics.
3. Reclaim Waiting Spaces
Transform “dead zones” — the printer area, elevator lobby, or reception — into “micro-connect” zones.
Add a “question of the week,” a rotating photo wall, or a “while you wait” board.
These spaces are modern-day campfires, if we choose to light them.
4. Embrace the In-Between at Off-Sites
Don’t over-schedule your team events.
Leave intentional “in-between time” — coffee walks, shuttle rides, unscripted breaks — and pair people who don’t often collaborate.
That’s where spontaneous empathy forms.
5. Turn Pauses into Prompts
Start meetings or Mondays with a gentle question:
“What’s one unexpected connection you made this week?”
Encourage reflection on those micro-moments — the chat in the elevator, the quick laugh in the hallway, the shared sigh in the coffee line.
From Waiting to Noticing
Connection doesn’t always arrive with a calendar invite.
Sometimes, it happens in the pause — the breath before the next thing, the wait that feels too long, the ride that feels too quiet.
When we pay attention to the in-between moments, we open ourselves to connection, compassion, and kindness.
At KindCo, we believe kindness begins with noticing — noticing the person beside you in line, the colleague waiting for the elevator, the shared moment that could easily slip by.
Those small, human moments aren’t interruptions to your day — they are your day.
And they might just be the most important part of building a culture of connection.
